Mothers Central Blog

Mothers’ Day is right around the corner.

And I don’t know a better way to celebrate motherhood and all the amazing, hardworking and inspirational mothers out there then by featuring our first guest post here at Mothers Central.

Nearly two months ago I asked you – our readers and NAMC members – to submit a guest post in the form of a letter to your children.

What would you want to tell you children in a letter? Guest post letters have been trickling in, and we are so happy to be able to introduce you to our first voice Ginger Garner.

Ginger is an individual NAMC member and is a featured blogger on our MC Voices Page. Her blogs, Breathing in this Life and Fit & Fearless Birth, advocate for better health care and holistic wellness for women and mothers. Along with her job as a mother to her three sons Michael, William and James, she is also an author and educator in transformational healing through holistic health care and yoga.

Without further ado, please help me in welcoming Ginger to the Mothers Central Blog.

Ginger’s three boys: Michael, William, and James [click to continue reading…]

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This post is dedicated to my Mother-in-law, one of the great “other” mothers in my life.

~

I hear your footsteps down the hall. You are home again and safe.
The burdens of the day are lightened, and all the night noises …are music to my ears.
~ D. Morgan

A photo of me with my Mother-in-law at my wedding.

Every Monday morning around 8 a.m., my mother-in-law arrives at my home and immediately starts to settle in.

She hangs up her coat, opens up her laptop, and passes out the traditional donut holes for my kids’ breakfast. (Grandma’s “special” treat!) After a quick talk about the forthcoming weather and then a brief review of the day’s schedule, she moves on with her morning routine – grabbing book bags, organizing kids’ coats, gently rinsing leftover dirty dishes from the prior evening.

Meanwhile, I jet out the door – coffee in one hand, large brief case in the other. I race out to begin my one and only loooong workday away from the home as an adjunct college instructor – confidently leaving the kids with their very capable “other mother” for the day.

~

At the end of this very long day I come home exhausted to a neat and tidy house, with finished homework in book bags, packed lunches prepared for Tuesday, and three children quietly tucked into bed.

As my mother-in-law slips out of my house (that she has so lovingly cared for in my absence) I try my best to regroup from the long, draining day. On occasion, I sneak up to my children’s rooms to peek in on them as they sleep.

And it never fails – after only a day of being gone from them – my children still always look a day older to me. [click to continue reading…]

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The following is a true story.
(At least in my mind it is.)

~

I was 15 years old, just beginning my sophomore year of high school, and one of the few ways I could make some extra spending money at such a young age was by babysitting. Late one Saturday night, after babysitting and during the ride home, I clearly remember having the following conversation:

Dad of Children: So, have you decided what college you will go to after high school?
Me: No, not yet.
(In my head I remember thinking, College? That’s SOOO far away!)

Dad of Children: I remember college being the best time of my life. Make sure you enjoy those days. (Pause. Short awkward silence, as we slowly pull in to my driveway.)

Me: Okay… (another awkward pause) Thanks for the ride home! Good night!

And with a quick smile I was off to my bedroom.
To sleep in as long as I wanted the next day…

~

Flash Forward: 4 Years Later as a College Student.
(Recalling that very conversation in my dorm room – late at night as I struggled to finish a paper)

Me to myself: What was he talking about? The best years of my life!?! Sure, the weekends were sometimes kind of fun. Yes, it was great living on my own and being more independent. But, the best years of my life?

College is HARD. WORK. I can’t wait to be done and actually working – making money and not needing to go to class All. The. Time.

~

Flash Forward: Present Day.
(Over spring break, watching the college students at a beach bar while out for a “date night” with my husband)

Me to my husband: College. I remember college. Those were some of the best, most carefree days of my life…

Lets Evaluate the Evidence…

Over the years, have you ever noticed that you tend to forget the everyday battles of life and remember just the end results?

Exhibit A: My College Experience Recollection

College was hard. College was full of late night papers, occasional drama and other difficulties. Yet just like the father driving my 15-year-old self home after babysitting, I tend to forget these difficult, emotional moments and just remember the highlights.

And this selective memory doesn’t seem to stop with college.
It also applies to children and motherhood. [click to continue reading…]

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This post was inspired by the words used to describe the NAMC’s upcoming “Mile for Mothers” Walk – a fundraiser which helps to underwrites a 35 year old program that puts moms first by supporting her wherever her walk through motherhood takes her. Consider donating! (All donations are tax deductible, and any donation over $35 makes you eligible for a NAMC membership.)

~

Pop Quiz

As a Mother I have, on occasion:

a.) Left the grocery store because of a toddler meltdown.
b.) Offered my kids candy in the middle of said grocery store to avoid a toddler melt down.
c.) Talked aloud to myself in the middle of said grocery store to avoid a “mommy meltdown.”
d.) All of the above

The correct answer (for me) is: d.) All of the above.

How about you?

Yet when I first entered motherhood, if you would have told me that someday I would:

• Go grocery shopping with three (very crabby, tired and wiggly) kids AND
• Try to “quick fix” an argument amongst them by offering candy AND
• Watch in frustration as they continued to argue AND
• Try (unsuccessfully?) to calm down my own frustrations about the whole silly situation
• THEN ultimately leave the grocery with no groceries at all (because enough was enough!)

I would have told you that you were nuts! No way. Not me. In my mind, at that time, this situation might have indicated a failing grade in motherhood. In my soon-to-be and new-mom mind this type of thing only happened to other mothers.

Definitely NOT to me. [click to continue reading…]

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Note: On Thursday, April 26th, the National Association of Mothers’ Centers will be hosting a webinar presented by author Shar McBee as part of their Webinar Series entitled: The Joy of Leadership: How to Attract and Keep Volunteers. It was through this topic that I was inspired, as both a parent and a volunteer, to reflect on how I judge what TO and what NOT TO dedicate my own very precious gift of time to.

Multitasking.
If I had to wrap up my day in one word, this would be it.

My day often consists of doing too many things at the same time. I am generally okay with this if what I am doing consists of things that I am passionate about. But sometimes it wears me out.

Breaking up sibling arguments, helping out at our children’s school, working inside and outside of the home both to make a living and as a volunteer are just normal occurrences within a day in the life a multitasking mother. It seems that there is always someone or something vying for our time whether it is school-related, community-related, or workplace related…

And it is the enormous amount of things vying for our time each and every day, that typically makes us parents incredibly efficient multitaskers.

A Penny for your Time?

The excessive amount of important things fighting for my time is also why I place a lot of value on the time that I do have.

I am constantly juggling my day so that it has as good a mix as possible between work, family and me time. Sometimes, finding where to draw the line and what is a good use of my time is hard. [click to continue reading…]

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~
“You never make any of the shots you never take.”
~ Larry Bird, Boston Celtics

My son, attempting to slam dunk in his makeshift bedroom “court.”

“Score! Two Points! And the crowd goes wild!” I can hear my son announce after taking a shot with his basketball.

My son is nearly 6-years-old and recently discovered a passion for the sport of basketball. Just watching his excitement, enthusiasm and genuine joy whenever he is able to have a second to play this sport puts a smile on my face. There is an obvious difference in him when he is able to play basketball versus any of his other extracurricular activities.

And in watching him play this sport the other day, I made a significant personal discovery… if my son is noticeably happier when he is doing something he is passionate about … maybe I am too? [click to continue reading…]

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[pinit]

What do you think is the hardest part of parenting?

Personally, I think the hardest part is being a pillar for your children and your family on those days/weeks/months (even years) when your comfort comes crumbling down.

Sometimes life gets tough, and often it feels like being a parent just makes the tough times…

Even tougher.

Why? Because you are not only dealing with life’s inopportune punches, you are also dealing with how these unexpected life blows are affecting your children. And knowing this, makes any challenge harder.

Yet there is one underused simple solution to dealing with difficult problems – both big and small.
That solution is: support.

And that’s what Mothers’ Center is to me – a form of support.

Mothers’ Center – The Big Picture

The National Association of Mothers’ Centers (NAMC) is a non-profit organization that is a means of support for parents everywhere. (Not just in locations that have physical Mothers’ Centers.)

Did you know…

• Mothers’ Center is learning and teaching empathy and camaraderie to parents (in person at centers and online via this blog and our webinar series)
• Mothers’ Center is resources for families, and childcare, and work life, and postpartum
• Mothers’ Center is advocacy (and providing advocacy for mothers during times when we can’t always advocate for ourselves)

But here is the best part: the NAMC strives to honor what we do as parents, and they work at helping moms everywhere to see that their contribution (YOUR contribution!) as a mom is valued.

Mothers’ Center – On a Personal Note

Yet I realize that the big picture is not always the easiest to connect with, so on a more personal scale, Mothers’ Center has provided me with the type of support that I needed during crisis times in my life.

• Times like a sleepless night with a feverish child.
• Or periods when I had to deal with an illness and/or a death in the family.
• And also those times when I was faced with the pressures of work (for me), school (for my kids), nursing a baby and so much more.

Furthermore, over a year and a half ago I struggled with a larger-than-life blow. During this difficult time I fought hard to maintain control of my emotions and be as “brave” as I could for the sake of my own children.

And this is primarily why I feel one of the hardest parts of parenting is being a pillar for your children – because I have been there, trying my hardest to not completely mask my own emotions, while at the same time working to tone down my emotions for the sake of my kids.

My friends within my local Mothers’ Center were there for me and my family during this hard personal time of struggle, during a time where I needed support both personally and as a mother.

Supporting a Mother to Make the Hard Parts of Parenting Easier

Support in often underrated, yet in truth it can be life saving. Every mother is different, but the one thing that I think we all need at some time or another is support.

The NAMC looks to put us as moms first, by supporting us wherever our walk through motherhood takes us.

On Saturday, May 5th, 2012 the NAMC will be holding the 3rd Annual Mile for Mothers’ Walk on the Long Beach Boardwalk to help support their 35-year-old non-profit organization.

And in the tradition of Mothers’ Center support, I am now asking for YOUR support. Yes YOU - all the readers of the Mothers Central Blog!

If you live in the Long Beach Area you can physically support the cause by joining us Saturday, May 5th from 9:30 a.m. – 12 noon on the Boardwalk at Riverside in Long Beach, New York and help us “Walk a mile in Mom’s Shoes.” Bring family, bring friends… it is a fun event for everyone! (Find more information here.)

If you can’t physically be there you can still help by virtually joining the Mothers Central Blog Walk Team and donating as little or as much as you can financially. (All donations are tax deductible, and any donation over $35 makes you eligible for a NAMC membership.

Support is vital in motherhood.
Consider supporting NAMC’s journey and mothers’ journeys everywhere,
wherever their walk through motherhood takes them.

~

Leave a Comment and Consider Donating. What do you think the hardest part of parenting is? What experiences have you had with Mothers’ Center that have supported you as a parent?

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Don’t forget, for a limited time we want to know: What would be the most important wisdom you would want to pass down and share in a letter to your own child(ren)? Submit your letter for a chance to have it featured on the Mothers Central blog.

~

This past week went perfectly, sort of…

I went to work on Monday. I spent time with my kids on Tuesday. I was able to be creative on Wednesday. I got some GREAT news on Thursday. And on Friday we went to a fun family activity.

And the weekend, well the weekend was also pretty good. I successfully accomplished some more work. My husband and I had a double date. (Not the kind of double date you had in college, the kind of double date you have when you have three kids of various ages.)

Dinner and a 3D movie with my husband and our two oldest kids

And to top it off, we ended the week with our 1st family bike ride of the season. It was a successful week as an employee, a volunteer, and a mom…

Yet not so much as a friend. [click to continue reading…]

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If you could write your child a letter, what would it say?

Have you ever learned a life lesson and thought to yourself, “Now that is something I wish I had known a lot sooner!”

Life lessons have a way of presenting themselves at the most inconvenient times.

Like when you are having a excessively trying day and are about to have a break down.
Or in hindsight, after you have already made a bad decision.

Sometimes you learn a life lesson from your friends, sometimes from a complete stranger, and even (on occasion) from your own children.

Yet, the one thing that almost all life lessons have in common is:

You always wonder why you JUST NOW figured this particular epiphany out, and why you couldn’t have figured it out just a little bit earlier.

I keep trying to remind myself that timing is everything. Maybe something I learned today, I wouldn’t have understood yesterday? And I do realize that there are some things that I am just not ready to understand yet… EXCEPT…

Ideally, I still wish I could pass some of my newly acquired wisdom down.
Especially to my own kids.

Lessons like:

• No matter how much you plan, it is ALWAYS good to have a back-up plan. (Plans nearly never go exactly as “planned!”)
• OR: Striving for perfection is not always the “perfect” solution.
• OR: Sleep… Ohhhhh beautiful sleep… how sleep should have a much higher priority in your life then you might want to give it.

Really, I could go on and on.

But, It’s Your Turn Now.

On the Mothers Central blog I have written both a letter to my daughter and a “fan letter” to my own children. Someday I’d like to share these letters with my kids in hopes that my experiences might help them to learn some life lessons of their own.

The National Association of Mothers’ Centers would now like to hear what you have to say. We want to feature you as a guest post on the Mothers Central Blog!

What would you say if you were to write a letter to your own child?
What would be the most important wisdom you would want to pass down and share with them?

Here are the ground rules:

1. You must be a NAMC member. (Aren’t a member? It is only $35 and tax deductible! Find out the benefits and join here.)
2. Write a letter to your child(ren) in 500 words or less.
3. Begin the letter with: To my child(ren), and end it with: Love Always, Your Mother
4. Submit it here along with a photo of yourself or your family (optional).

It’s that easy. If your letter is chosen, it will be featured as a guest post on Mothers Central!

What would you like to tell your children in a letter?
We want to know!

P.S. Share this post with others via Facebook, Twitter and email so they too might consider writing their own letter!

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